Intimations of mortality

Richard Winfield - editor I have been reading "Tuesdays with Morrie". This much loved small book is the record of the dying days of a sociology lecturer, Morrie Schwartz, as experienced in a series of discussions by journalist Mitch Albom.

Morrie decided that an account of his dying should be a course in living and, Tuesday by Tuesday, he and Mitch discussed such matters as family, emotions, fear of aging, love, marriage and culture. The conclusion is that life is about relationships and that death is a natural part of life.

There is a series of questions that are often used in personal development.

What would you do if you knew that you would live a healthy life for the next three months and then drop dead?

What would you do if you suddenly received a very large sum of money so that you could pay off any debts and be financially independent?

If you were able to observe your own funeral what would you like to hear people say about you?

The object of these questions is to identify what you really value in your life and to challenge you to make any changes in the living, rather than in the dying.

One thing that is often said about people at the end of their lives is that they would not have wished to spend more time at the office! I think that in my case I disagree. Not in the case of the office, but in terms of work. I love the work that I do in the office as I am able to indulge my creativity in the design of programmes and preparation of proposals. But there are other ways of achieving this fulfilment. However, I am fortunate that my real work involves many of the things referred to in "Tuesdays with Morrie". Coaching and facilitation are all about relationship, interaction and growth. So, the more work I do the better. And the more I shall be able to look back on, the better.

I recently carried out a simple exercise on myself. I headed a page of my journal "What do I want?" and then freely wrote down everything I could think of. There were no surprises in what I had written - I had written it because I knew it. However, there were some surprises in what I did not write. I recommend the exercise.

One way to stay young is to keep learning new things. I have mentioned that this year I am learning to ride. I am making great progress and am very proud of myself. Such success is very motivating and good for self esteem. In fact I have made such progress that in my fourth lesson I managed to fall off! I had progressed to cantering and was racing round the school when my hourse played a trick on me and suddenly changed direction. I have learned more about understanding my horse and reading its body language. I have also learned not to be smug!

I have bought a ticket to a football match. That might not sound too odd for an Englishman but my family will know that it is a major development. I have never been to such a match in my whole life, nor even watched one on television.

When you seek to challenge your clients you might remember that what is a stretch to them might not seem a stretch to you.

A major objective of coaching is to raise awareness. I thought you would enjoy the story in Coaching Notes about the consequences of knowing only part of the truth.

Richard Winfield is founder of Brefi Group.

An international facilitator, he coaches and

facilitates directors and boards in transition:

helping them to make progress by

bringing structure and clarity

to their thinking.