Life before death

Category: Editorial

Richard Winfield - editor I have recently returned from Ghana, where I spent a very pleasant three days facilitating a meeting of Nigerian oil executives, coming away with both optimistic and pessimistic thoughts about that part of Africa. The good news was the commitment to the country, including several of the team who had returned to Africa from extended periods in the UK in order to help build their own country. The bad news was that they accepted that they were not doing it for their children, but - hopefully - for their grandchildren. A long term commitment, requiring patience and belief.

On the flight out, I read The Zahir, by Paulo Coelho. This is the story of a personal journey by the hero to find his wife, Esther, who had disappeared two years earlier. At one point in the story he is run over by a motorcycle and taken to hospital.

During his recovery he asks a nurse whether he has thought about his own funeral. The response implies that normal people do not think about such things. Indeed, they are terrified of the thought of death.

We are quite happy to address funerals (in a general way). We use it in our coaching. Do you know the three key questions?

What would you do if you received a large sum of money, giving you complete financial independence?

What would you do if you learned that, although you will have perfect health until then, you will drop dead in exactly three months time?

What would you like to hear people saying about you if you were able to listen in at your own funeral?

The question then is "Are these answers congruent with how you are living you life now?"

The hero of Coelho's book decided that on his gravestone he would like inscribed: "He died while still alive."

On mine, I would like "He loved living."

What would you like on yours? Send in your ideas.

Stimulated by his thoughts while in hospital, Coelho's hero has a discussion with his girl friend, Marie. It appealled to me and I reproduce it in the Coaching Notes below.

I have had a comment from Susan Smyth about values. She had accessed our list of values and comments: -

Hi - In my years of consulting we have always taught that values are abstract qualities that you prize (integrity, quality, trust). Much of what I see listed are verbs - things people DO. I wonder what others think of this? Warm regards Susan

This is true. However, a value can only be expressed in a behaviour - and it can only be observed in a behaviour. So in practical terms we need to communicate through behaviours. When coaching organisations and teams I make the point. "Now that you have stated the value - how will that be expressed in behaviour? What will your staff, suppliers and customers actually see. Too often, values exist only on paper - or on the wall!

Comments, please.

My colleague Andre Halfacre has recommended a free online service to help you manage your tasks. It is called "Remember the Milk". He also recommended a video "Do schools kill creativity" by Sir Ken Robinson.

Richard Winfield is founder of Brefi Group.

An international facilitator,

he coaches directors and
boards in transition:

new and potential directors, effective boards,

mergers and acquisitions, corporate retreats,

change programmes.