The coach in the sky

Category: Editorial

Richard Winfield - editor Readers might remember that last year I was challenged with choosing a new car. I was caught between two identities. As a newly arrived city dweller, should I choose the exciting Mini Cooper Park Lane automatic that would allow me to zip around town and park easily. Or should I go for the sleek Jaguar 'S' Type that would make long journeys a joy? Early on I noticed that on a motorway journey between Bristol and Birmingham I saw only one Mini but several Jaguars. I also realised that living in the city centre I should not need a car very often as I should be able to walk everywhere.

Although the Mini attracted me emotionally it had the disadvantage of only seating four people and I had recently gained a grandson. But the decision was made for me when
the launch of the new Mini meant that Park Lane models were very difficult to get hold of.

So I agreed to buy the Jaguar. One of the accessories was satellite navigation. I told the salesman that, although I would obviously be prepared to accept it, I could not see the benefit. I have always had a good sense of direction and been able to read and visualise maps.

In fact, it has turned out to be one of the most useful things I have ever had. Having moved into a new area and visiting new venues in urban 'mazes' I began to wonder however I would have coped without it. I would have been forever stopping on the roadside to refer back to an A-Z or map. This 'young lady' guiding me from her satellite has become a great personal asset.

It occurred to me that this is a direct equivalent to a personal coach. Maybe you might not recognise the benefit before you actually start to work with a coach but once engaged
that external guide with perceptive questions and a focus on goals and actions can quickly become a great asset – and personal friend.

My team has been discussing why we are in business. Some said they wanted to earn a lot of money so that they could give it away. Further discussion identified three reasons why people should want to give things away: As a celebration of abundance; as justification for their existence; as reparation for guilt. We recognised that we could discover more about the underlying attitude by noticing the energy level when talking about it. If you feel empowered by talking about giving away your wealth then that is very different from losing energy as you talk about your generosity'. The exercise led to some surprises.

My personal philosophy is not to earn money and give it a way but to live a life that adds value to others through what I do.

Over the last six months I have been studying manifestation, and I describe some techniques in this week's coaching
notes. One thing we were discussing at our team meeting was the effect of our actions. I have always picked up litter.

When I lived in the country it was an occasional action to clean up the odd small item that had blown into the hedge. Now that I live in a city centre it is a very different matter, even though Birmingham has recently been given an award as a cleanest city.

It seems to me that if some citizens pick up litter we might compensate for those who drop it and also be a role model. Ideally we can catch people in the act and feed the litter back to them. Whatever the response in the moment, I believe it will impact on them when they next might have dropped something.

However, the Law of Attraction says that we manifest what we focus on. People who worry about debts or
their overdraft get more debts and overdraft! People who focus on wealth get more wealth. So our concern was: If I was focusing on the litter in the street, was I, perhaps, manifesting more litter!

I have been reading Wink, by Roger Hamilton. He gives a new perspective on WYSIWYG. What you see is what you get. His interpretation is "What you see (visualise) is what you get".

Last weekend I had a mammoth overnight reading session of The Interpretation of Murder by Jed Rubenfield, which has since won the best read of the year award at the British Book Awards. Although piomarily a detective story about Sigmund Freud's visit to the USA in 1909, it is also a study of Hamlet. Rubenfield gives a new, Freudian, interpretation of the famous lines: "To be or not to be". The traditional interpretation is that "not to be" means to die, whereas the rest of the speech suggests that 'not to be' implies action, which implies life - not death.

Rubenfield's interpretation is that 'to be' is to be his true self, whereas 'not to be' is to 'seem', to pretend, to act - in this case, to act the part of being mad. And he needs to act in oder to deceive his uncle until he can get retribution. Rubenfield then relates this to all our lives. I quote:

"All action is acting. All performing is performance. There's a reason these words have double meanings. To design means to plan, but also to deceive. To fabricate is to make with skills, but also to deceive. Art means deception. Craft - deception. There is no escaping it. If we would play a part in the world, we must act. Say a man psychoanalyses a woman.
He becomes her doctor; he assumes a role. It isn't lying, but it is acting. If he drops that role with her, he assumes another - friend, lover, husband, whatever it is. We can choose what part we play, but that's all."

So, what does it mean to be coach?

Post Script: The greatest benefit of my purchasing the larger car has not yet been carrying my full family - but taking large objects to the local recycling tip ;-)

Richard Winfield is founder of Brefi Group.

He helps entrepreneurs build businesses

and coaches directors and boards in transition:

new and potential directors, effective boards,

mergers and acquisitions, corporate retreats,

change programmes.