Enhancing and maintaining self-esteem

Category: Discussion paper

Self-esteem is a fragile thing, even for successful people. If not grounded in a real evaluation of self worth it can be dependent on such ephemeral qualities as job status or material wealth. In this world of constant change these can be so quickly affected by outside forces resulting in a damaging effect on a clientâ??s self-esteem. Working on helping clients in this area can sometimes be an integral part of the coaching relationship.

The first, and to me the most fundamental, step in building self-esteem is to open up the clientâ??s eyes to the possibility of change and to imbue in them a self confidence to accept what is in reality quite a daunting challenge â?? taking responsibility for their own future. This is all about taking control and not drifting aimlessly in a sea of unpredictable currents. This leads to the next step of generating a curiosity about the limit of their capabilities. Coupled with the self-confidence generated earlier they can then start to push the limits of their comfort zone and to see that with their newfound self esteem the potential for growth is phenomenal. A third self-esteem booster is to help the client lift their energy levels. When all three are combined we have a formula for action and without that then nothing will be achieved.


A word about comfort zones. Comfort zones are like open prisons. They set the limits of our horizons and constrain our choices on how we lead our lives. If we never break out of them we will never know what our exact potential really is. But comfort zones are just that â?? comfortable. It takes a degree of courage to move out from them. In her list of five truths about fear, Susan Jeffers (1987) said that:

â??The fear will never go away as long as I grow.â??

I believe that there is a direct correlation between our comfort zones and the level of our self-esteem. If we can encourage a client to set a goal beyond their current level of self-esteem, then their ability to grow is dramatically enhanced, leading ultimately to the realisation of their full potential. But a word of caution: it is imperative that clients have a full range of support systems available to them during this process.

John Duncan is Director of Huxley Strategic Choice, and specialises in Transition Management and Executive Coaching.
John is currently working with Brefi Group on a project in the steel industry.

USEFUL LINKS

• 
  A straightforward Guide to Building Confidence and Increasing Self Esteem Paul fairhurst
  


• Susan Jeffers


• Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers
  


• How to Raise Your Self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden
  

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